10 September 2015

The Last Month

Source: Simply Hued
A lot can happen in a month. It took me around four days to move to London around year ago. I had fallen out of love with my job and wondered if I could survive in the capital city. Turns out I can. It took me a lot longer to settle in than I had preempted. For anyone wanting to move to London, I would say give it a full year before you make any judgement on how settled you feel and be prepared for it to take that long.

The last month some things have changed for me, some realisations have hit me like a punch in the face.

After being in London for for around 15 months now, it is time for some reflection. I have had some of the best days of my life here, but one thing remains the same. My family aren't here. And I am currently unsure if I can be happy anywhere that my family aren't. I used to fight against this, that my family would always be there and I could travel and that would be enough, but it isn't. It isn't enough for me to have my family a 3 hour journey away. It isn't enough for me to go home and realise that they have new in-jokes that I don't understand. It isn't enough for me that my sister is getting married and I feel like I am missing out on the planning (and being as passionate about weddings as I am, this is a BIG deal).

But do you know what the most surprising thing I have found?

The more people I open up to, the more people who admit they feel exactly the same. I am not sure why this is so surprising to me, I guess I was expecting everyone to tell me to grow up and be independent.

For me, one of the most important things I have learnt is that this isn't even a case of being independent, I am a fiercely independent person, it's about choosing who I want around me in my personal life and choosing whether I want to work to live, or live to work.

And while I am happy in London for the now, I think I have made that decision for the forever. x

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